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Joke of the Day

"One time my teacher was telling a story about war and the girl in front of me slowly opened her laptop and liked Downy on Facebook."

"Pretty upsetting that gummy worms are actual size but gummy bears are not."

"What's the first thing you do when attacked by a gang of clowns? Go straight for the juggler."

"Why did the blind lady fall into a well? She didn't see that well."

"An expert answered a question I asked him about agnosticism He said he wasn't sure."

"I just discovered a subreddit called /r/abs Turns out it wasn't about arabic culture."

"What kind of protozoa likes Halloween? An amoeboo!"

"What do you call an Italian Yeti? A Spaghyeti!"

"Put your GPS on full volume for your daily commute if you want to know what marriage is like."

"I'm nervous that my diet pill will stick in my throat, so I usually eat a few cookies after to help push it down."