122018

Joke of the Day

"Capitalization can really change a sentence. For example: I love to eat candy. I love to eat capitalization."

"Zero word punchlines * Does this smell like chloroform to you? * I wonder what happens when I pull this pin? * Does this hurt? Comment some more!"

"""If Cinderella's shoe fit perfectly how did it fall off?"" Interviewer: I meant about the job. Me: Oh.... no I'm good."

"why are flies the biggest troll? they only live for three days, and spend it fucking with you"

"The generation of today are so allergic to everything, future wars will be fought by throwing bags of peanuts and cat hair at each other."

"Funny how bullies only bully people who are susceptible to bullying. They don't bully people who'd throat punch em without thinking twice."

"I was grinding on a girl in a club last night and she said to me, ""Will you please take your skateboard and f#ck off!"""

"Me and my wife are getting a divorce so we are splitting the house ... She gets the inside. I get the outside."

"As I get older, I'm really just looking for Girls Gone Mild."

"How many evolutionists does it take to change a light bulb? Only one but it takes eight million years."