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Joke of the Day

"So then I said, ""Spit on it first, then see if it'll fit."" ...And that's why my wife no longer allows me to help our son with puzzles."

"What's the difference between Paris Hilton and a farmer? A farmer shucks between fits."

"Maslow's theory of higher needs does not apply to Chuck Norris. He only has two needs: killing people and finding people to kill."

"What do you call 2 chainz on steroids? 2-Gainz"

"So I go to the shops to get some food... This motherfucker behind the counter takes my money. That's thievery."

"Why couldn't the Italian chef get into his restaurant? Gnocchi."

"Doc, for all the good that suppository did me... I could have shoved it up my ass!"

"What's better than having a 'Brexit' vote about Britain leaving the EU? Not being British."

"Anytime I get something stuck in my throat, I drink some beer. I call this the Heineken maneuver."

"What kind of cereal do you find in a haunted house? Cinnamon Ghost Crunch"