121801

Joke of the Day

"The human soul weighs 1.2lbs... I know because I've weighed myself before and after I walk into work."

"How many psychologists does it take to change a light bulb? Only one, but the light bulb has got to *want* to change."

"I saw a documentary about beavers... It was the best dam program I've seen in a while"

"How do you get the drummer off your front porch? Pay for the pizza."

"What did the farmer say when he couldn't find his tractor? Wheres my tractor?"

"The year is 42069. We've stopped changing the date, it's just always the year 42069 and people spell their names with emojis. It's awesome."

"Due to flooding, my kid's school is closed. Pffft. In my day, we swam to school--uphill--both ways."

"How many ants does it take to screw in a light bulb? Two, but don't ask me how they got in there"

"What's the difference between a hockey team and a Russian woman? The hockey team showers after three periods."

"What did the field say to the farmer with no crops? Stop fallowing me!"