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Joke of the Day

"What is the heaviest surgical intervetion that can be done to women ? Getting money and dicks out of their minds."

"i think when there's a new viral thing and instead of checking it out you're like ""eh who cares i bet it's dumb"" that's Internet Adulthood"

"A guy kept telling his girlfriend not to turn her head away near the end of a blow job...... Did she listen ? Nope..... it went in one ear and out the other"

"I can sum up 2016 in one word... Nine."

"What is the cheapest date ever? Drive in reverse trough the mcdrive, so the checkout is on her side."

"Q: Why is it so easy to make plans with a gymnast? A: Because their schedules are so flexible."

"Why did god give women yeast infections? So they know what it is like to live with an irritating cunt. Zing!"

"The only lie Republicans haven't told about Obama is he's white."

"Wife: Well, they say a mirror adds ten pounds. Me: That's a cam- Wife: ... Me: Yes. Yes they do."

"If you attached a bunch of watches together to make a belt it would be a waist of time."