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Joke of the Day

"What kind of tea is sometimes hard to swallow? Reality"

"What are the odds? Daughter: Dad, I'm a lesbian Dad: Its cool 2nd Daughter: Dad, I'm also a lesbian Dad: OMG! Does anyone in this family like dick? Son: I do!"""

"Why would anyone want to be a masochist? Beats me"

"Christmas is canceled this year. Hoe HOoo HOe Hooo Hoooo were his last words as Kanye gunned him down for disrespecting his woman."

"A lady asked me if I had any gum this morning I replied ""Sorry, I don't have any Extra"""

"How many cats sawed in half does it take to change a lightbulb? Apparently 10 aren't enough :\"

"What would u do if u won the lotto? 10yo: Buy legos & a bigger house for u. 11yo: I'd buy a monkey. Going to be extra nice to my 10yo."

"Chinese salesman I had a long talk with a Chinese man selling shoes the other day. It was a pleasant converse-asian."

"How's my life? Let's just say I'm starting a lot of sentences with ""let's just say""."

"Two muffins are in a tin in the oven. One says to the other, ""man it's hot in here."" The other says, ""HOLY SHIT A TALKING MUFFIN!"""