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Joke of the Day

"Was the principal's brother really a missionary? He certainly was. He gave the people of the Cannibal Islands their first taste of Christianity !"

"MISSING: 5 year old LAST SEEN: Moments after I said, ""Bath time."" DESCRIPTION: Naked, sporting 20-23 Spider-Man band-aids"

"Getting tired of these people who come to my door, telling me I'm gonna burn unless I'm saved... The flashing lights on their trucks were pretty cool to see, though."

"Me: You can't honestly expect me to believe this house isn't haunted; I can see the ghost walls from here. Realtor: Those are windows."

"Me: We spend a lot of time together. Her: Turn left. Me: Just think we should take this to the next level. Her: Arriving at destination."

"""Everything you say can and will be used against you"" should be included in marriage vows."

"What did the nun say to the priest? Shut up"

"Chuck Norris was once in a knife fight, and the knife lost."

"Why couldn't Elsa hold on to a balloon? She would always let it go."

"Thanks for sending your Blackberry pin to my iPhone. When did you get electricity in your cave?"