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Joke of the Day

"As a rule, if the number of genders allowed to drive in your country is less than two, you live in an awful country."

"Europe is in turmoil, but at least I've got some steady income despite the migrant crisis I own a florist around the corner from the French embassy"

"Why do dogs hate outer space? Because they strongly dislike vacuums."

"What's the difference between light and hard? You can't sleep with a light on"

"It's weird to think there was a time when the most data a tablet could hold was five commandments."

"Today I saw a rock group, but none of the 4 members sang Mount Rushmore was kinda disappointing"

"Why do black people not go on cruises? They won't fall for that one again."

"i'm wearing a jetpack to my job interview tomorrow so if they turn me down i can disappoint everyone there by just walking out calmly"

"Her: Couldn't you have picked a better record to beat? Me: *covered in 13,000 bees* There's no way this can end badly, Susan."

"I handed a blind guy a sheet of sandpaper. He said he couldn't read the fine print."