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Joke of the Day
"Pac-Man What should you do before you criticize Pac-Man? WAKA WAKA WAKA mile in his shoes."
Next Joke
"Friend: What are you gonna be for halloween? Me: Drunk!"
"Jared Fogle is going to prison. It looks as if his steady diet of footlongs will continue"
"What did Thomas Jefferson grow? Old."
"You'd think a dude named Captain Crunch would have amazing abs."
"[describing a chair] it's like a swing without all the drama"
"I just read that the average person spends 2 weeks waiting for a traffic light to change. Fuck that. I'd run it after 3 or 4 minutes tops."
"[Batman's parents return after 40 years] Surprise!! Wait, wtf are you wearing?"
"My wife has the cutest crow's feet. And the strongest little crow beak. My wife is a crow. Her name is Leah."
"Why is Santa Claus always so Jolly? He knows where all the naughty girls live."