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Joke of the Day

"The dad asks his son: ""What has four legs and isn't alive? Son: ""nice try, a chair!"" Dad: ""Nope. Our dog just died."""

"What do you get if you cross an elephant with the Internet? I don't know but it's e-nourmous."

"[trying to avoid awkward silence on first date] you ever see a horse throw up? ""no"" *smiles and turns phone sideways so video gets bigger*"

"Two fish are in a tank. One turns to the other and says How do you drive this thing"

"I recently dated a slutty check with a brain fetish. The experience was mindblowing!"

"Where do you go to weigh a pie? Somewhere over the rainbow weigh a pie. (sounds like way up high)"

"I just thought of this while at a local hockey game. Why can't dogs play hockey? They always get called for roughing."

"What's the difference between a Priest and Acne? Acne doesn't come on your face until you're 13."

"I discriminate against people who lose digits on their feet to frostbite. I guess you could say I am lactose intolerant."

"I once met an Indian bloke in Birmingham and his name was Naan. He wasn't born here, but he was bread."