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Joke of the Day
"If Reddit was a blanket, what type of blanket would it be? One with a high thread count."
Next Joke
"The Fountain of Iniquity When your honest living has you worrying about pinching pennies, throw them into the wishing well and scoop up all the quarters."
"What do black people get after death? Nigger mortis"
"How are babies like hinges? They are things to adore"
"I'm sorry I stabbed all your tires, but in my defense you flirted with me and then said you were just kidding."
"How much semen does a gay guy have? A butt load."
"[first day as coast guard] Boss: 7 people died on your watch today Me [looking off into the distance]: yes but the coast is fine"
"bungee jumping A kid walks up to his mom and asks, Mom, can I go bungee jumping? The mom says No, you were born from broken rubber and I don't want you to go out the same way!"
"joke what did the porcupine say the first time it had sex ? ouch ooh ouch ooh ouch ooh. what the beaver say the first time it had sex ?....... gee Wally that kind of hurt"
"Don't hand me the phone Don't hand me the phone Don't hand me th-HIIIIII GRANDMA I'M GOOOOOD..."