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Joke of the Day

"What do you call someone who draws funny pictures of motor vehicles ? A car-toonist !"

"Doctor: I'm sorry to say but you have cancer and Alzheimer's. Patient: Well at least I don't have cancer. - Jackie Martling"

"I met a deaf gynecologist today.. Apparently, he reads lips. (Obligatory: posted this in /r/dadjokes, thought this sub might like it as well.)"

"I just hit a duck with my car. Wasn't even in it. Incredible strength."

"What do you say when you see two cleaning ladies making out in public? Get a broom."

"What do you call 717 dead Hajj pilgrims? A good start. My grandfather died making the Hajj; he fell out of a guard tower. Where do Black Muslims go? The back of the stampede!"

"What do you say to a two headed monster? Hello hello."

"My wife found out I was cheating after she found the letters I was hiding.... She got mad and said she's never playing Scrabble with me again."

"Accuracy ##You miss 100% of the shits you don't take. Made this typo and thought it was hilarious..."

"A dung beetle walks into a bar.... The bartender asks,""What's with the round faeces?"""