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Joke of the Day

"[Water cooler] -Looks like you had a wild weekend! How'd you get the scratches? *flash back to me bathing my cat* -Uh, this chick bro. Yeah."

"How many sides does a pentagon have? Jet fuel can't melt steel beams."

"I got told off for masturbating at the gun range. We had very different interpretations of shooting from the hip."

"2015 was an odd year It will all even out this year though"

"Why is it that when you transport something by car it's called ship-ment but when you transport something by ship it's called cargo?"

"Whenever i have a headache,i take two asprins and keep away the children,like the bottle says"

"I hope it's true that girls eventually turn into their mothers, because this girl I just ran over has a mother who's alive."

"I like to do my laundry naked so that all my clothes are clean. Unfortunately, the patrons at the laundromat don't seem to agree."

"I am against Picketing But I don't know how to show it"

"What do you call a horse that plays the violin? Fiddler on the hoof!"