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Joke of the Day

"I accidentally sent a dick pic to everyone in my address book. Not only was I embarrassed it cost me more than $50 in stamps."

"Q. Who is the greatest babysitter mentioned in the Bible? A. David. He rocked Goliath to sleep."

"Missing a period is probably a Grammar Nazi's worst nightmare."

"A neutron walks into a bar and asks the barman ""hey how much for a drink?"" The barman replies ""For you, no charge"" Bazinga!"

"I don't need feimsm i like my men to be REAL MEN! the worst day of my life was when i realised i had mistakenly married a big bag of oranges"

"what's the worst part for a zombie about eating a vegetable? the wheelchair."

"To make a long story short: Hamlet: Everyone dies Macbeth: Everyone dies Titanic: Everyone dies Twilight: You want to die"

"Why don't you want to take a Pokemon into the bathroom? Because it might Pikachu."

"Did you know LSD can make you lose weight? Because you can't get to the fridge if there's a dragon guarding it."

"Tonight's special: Hummus-fed pigeon leg, rolled in coffee grinds, served on a bed of fresh lawn clippings $105 - Fancy restaurants"