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Joke of the Day

"Say what you will about Carlos Mencia, he sure knows how to take a joke And present it as if he wrote it"

"Heisenberg's wife was unhappy... because when he had the time, he didn't have the energy, and when he had the position, he didn't have the momentum. Credit to Greg and/or Terry from American Dad."

"Did you hear about the cow who tried to jump over a barbed wire fence? It was an udder disaster."

"Why would anyone lie about liking big butts?"

"I walked by a girl the other day who I swore had twelve nipples Sounds weird, dozen tit?"

"After 5 years of marriage. After 5 years of marriage I found out my wife has 2 incomes, hers and mine....."

"My father trusted no one. Even had a saying about it. But he wouldn't tell me."

"Knock knock Who is it? GESTAPO GESTAPO who? VEE VILL ASK ZE QUESTIONS!"

"Just bet myself that the guy walking ahead of me was rocking a mustache. Won. Rewarded myself with the delusion that I live a full life."

"TIFU by going to Subway instead of Quiznos Oops, wrong sub"