121230

Joke of the Day

"Condom bursts are like Hillary Clinton's e-mails. You can try to neclect it, but everybody knows it's yours."

"What did the pope say when he spilled the sacramental wine? Do we have any papal towels?"

"If I had the power to time travel, I would mostly just use it to stop past me from eating stuff from the fridge that I'd like to eat now."

"I bet Seal is terrified of shark week."

"Dad: My head hurts, it feels like wrongdad. Son: What's wrongdad? Dad: I told you, my head hurts. Son: This is why mom left."

"What do you call a scam artist who uses his vocabulary to commit crimes? A LexiCon"

"I can kayak Canoe?"

"I broke up with my penis, so I wrote a song... Called ""So Long""."

"When I was a kid I used to dream about swimming in an ocean of soda... ....but when I grew up I realised it was just a Fantasea"

"The Karma cafe has no menus. You get served what you deserve."