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Joke of the Day

"To all those people who said I would be an unfit parent, have you seen the little guy lately? Cause that would be a big help, I seem to have misplaced him."

"I just got diagnosed with the inability to feel emotions Now I'm sad"

"Why doesn't Bill Cosby like women's flip flops? ...because he can't lace them."

"How to get fucked up in bakery? Get creampied."

"Non-native English speakers are the number one victim... ...of getting punched in the mouse."

"Africa and Asia are playing baseball Asia strikes out Africa, Europe"

"Did you hear the joke about the Hassidic jew dentist who only puts braces on every third tooth? He's an unorthodox orthodox orthodontist"

"What do Swimming and Masturbation have in common? You have to get through a lot of fluid to find the perfect stroke."

"Autocorrect is like that person who just graduated college and think they know everything."

"getting a teardrop tattoo for every leaf i've accidentally stepped on"