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Joke of the Day

"My mother-in-law said ""just do what you normally do"" when she came to stay with us. Not going to lie, naked Saturday was a little awkward."

"[Jedi Training] TRAINER: Any questions? STUDENT: Can the Force be with me? TRAINER: I don't know...CAN it? STUDENT: Oh right...May the Force"

"What are the four most common types of states of matter? Solid, gas, liquid and Black Lives."

"Have you heard about the man with no dick ? he came outta nowhere"

"Q:What do you get when you cross a snake and a kangaroo? A:('A jump rope')"""

"Someday I'll open a store that specializes in bedside furniture. The name of the store will be ""One"" I figure it'll be the only way I'll ever have a ""One nightstand."""

"I was suspicious that big multinational chemical corporation was up to no good, but then I saw that green cartoon leaf in its logo. Whew!"

"How do you measure a Lego figure's shoe size? In square feet."

"Jaws How do you know the girl from Jaws had dandruff? She left her Head & Shoulders on the beach"

"Does California have *any* water? I seriously drought it."