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Joke of the Day

"Your mum's so fat she uses Yosemite National Park as a back-scratcher, the Eiffel Tower as an ear pick and water slides as straws."

"I'm making a horror film where a sadistic snowman sets death traps for other snowmen and they have to melt bits of themselves to escape.It's called Thaw."

"What's a joke? My life..."

"How is a picket fence like a mini skirt? They both protect the property but they don't spoil the view."

"Stop taking my book seriously - God"

"Is it possible to get steak poisoning? Yes, but it's really rare."

"Pablo was a family man. That's why he had two of them."

"Lochte: My record is the most credible, because... IM the world record holder."

"what type of dog do you see at the zoo? a shitzu"

"Why do gorillas have big nostrils? ... Because they got big fingers."