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Joke of the Day

"*Lexus dealership* Sales person: if you buy a new Lexus we will make the first months payment Me: so who makes the other 59 payments?"

"Was surprised when my son came out the closet yesterday... I didn't think he could break through that lock."

"My son: Mommy I can't wait to grow up and be a man. Me: Don't be silly son, you can't do both"

"This upcoming USA presidential election That's it... that's the punch line."

"Me I'm a joke."

"Why can't men be accountants? because they don't understand periods"

"MOM DON'T COME IN!! *mom opens door & you're playing with pokemon, except they're real* HOW MUCH OF THE TRUTH ARE YOU READY TO HEAR MOM"

"Whats 10 inches? What's 10 inches, has a big red head and makes my girlfriend cry when i put it in her mouth? Her miscarriage"

"Today I saw a rock group, but none of the 4 members sang Mount Rushmore was kinda disappointing"

"Something I don't think we're doing nearly enough of as a society is building giant mysterious structures to confuse future archaeologists"