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Joke of the Day
"A foolproof way to get a woman's phone number is to hit her car."
Next Joke
"Hello OnStar? Yes I have an emergency. My wife thinks Pikachu is better than Squirtle. I left her at a gas station. Can you go get her?"
"Oklahoma Thunder & Miami Heat... Can't tell if they are talking about a weather report or NBA Finals."
"Mix it up a little. Text a random phone number the following msg: ""The fat one won't fit into the woodchipper. What do you want me to do?"""
"Why can't some people help being born Chinese? Because there's nothing wong with it."
"Based on the novel 'Push Notifications' by iSapphire"
"I'm coming out with a new type of whiskey called cunt... So when someone asks me what i want to drink I'll yell cunt liquor."
"Back in my day there were only 151 Pokemon When they added more, my only question was ""Y"""
"If by free spirits you mean an open bar, then yes I love free spirits."
"I had a really long dream last night that I was a muffler under a car. When I woke up this morning I was exhausted!"