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Joke of the Day

"""Of course you can trust me. Look, I'll prove it. Close your eyes and fall backwards. I'll catch you."" *Bing! Twitter notification!* Thud."

"What's a pirate's favorite digital image format? tARRRRRGa"

"Got a great book of Ebay ""How To Improve Your memory"" But for the life of me I can not remember where I left the fucking thing"

"How long do you think it will take for gays to find out? That a gay marriage is as much an oxymoron as a gay funeral?"

"Soon as I finish untangling these earphones I'm goin to google who made them & I'm going to ask them to invent shoelaces that tie themselves"

"Jokes About ESl classroom What is the longest word in the English language? SMILES: there is a mile between the first and last letters!"""

"Let me tell you a pizza joke... Nevermind it's too cheesy"

"New Facebook technology can identify faces with 97.25% accuracy, and then ask you if you want to tag that statue in the background."

"I saw my ex getting beaten up by half a dozen thugs. For a second, I thought, ""Should I help?"" Then I thought, ""No...6 should be enough."""

"What lives in a tree and is dangerous? A crow with a machine gun."