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Joke of the Day

"Scientists recently discovered the source of the quark... It's the sound made by a posh duck."

"If you aren't sure if you like someone, here's a test: imagine they're dead. Now, was it an accident or did you murder them?"

"I Don't like racist jokes... ...because I don't appreciate black humour."

"Job hunting tip: Leave the facial piercings at home. Hard to get hired when you look like you fell down a flight of stairs with a tackle box"

"Game of Thrones would have had more seasons... But HBO didn't want it to dragon too long."

"Your first instinct is gonna to be to spell ""leopard"" and ""deaf"" correctly. You're going to want to resist that. Best band manager ever."

"A black father asks his son how his exam went But the visiting hours finished before he could answer."

"I used to date a midgit. She really liked it when we would 34.5. In fact, I was nuts over her."

"There's no law that says you can't make a tiny swimming pool in your belly button for a gummy bear pool party."

"A guy named Michael was rushed to the emergency room one night and had to have heart surgery.. I guess you could say it was open Mike night."