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Joke of the Day

"The concept of blonde jokes are very simple. Everybody gets it, not the blondes though."

"A woman's asshole is like a 9-volt battery. You know you shouldn't, but sooner or later you're going to put your tongue on it."

"Why did the terrorist buy himself a Porsche? He was going through a midlife ISIS :("

"What celebrity is most likely to stab you? James Blunt"

"Accidentally shoved a girl I didn't like to the left in the grocery store thinking I was on Tinder."

"What's the difference between a Lamborghini and a pile of dead babies? Oh wait, I don't have a garage. Sorry neighbor I'll clean them out tomorrow."

"A wise man once said... ""If you make a woman laugh, you've half-undressed her."" However, if you half-undress and she laughs, that's a different thing altogether."

"[office] Me: Happy Black Friday! Latisha: ... Me: I made a cake! Latisha: ... Me: ... Latisha: ... Me: ... Latisha: ... Me: It's chocolate."

"My wife's got that good at bonsai, we're having to move to a house with a smaller garden."

"This redditor is so N00b... He pondered for several hours as to why people in his comments thread kept calling his submission ""Overpowered"""