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Joke of the Day

"Has anyone said, ""Julia Roberts makes me feel like I don't have enough teeth,"" because I'd like to say that."

"What's the difference between a chef and a gay guy? A chef doesn't stir yesterday's food."

"I made my 4-year-old sit at the table till she finished her lunch It took her 3 hours She was so excited to be done Then I served dinner."

"Why was the washing machine laughing? Because it was taking the piss out of the undies"

"Sir? the table of hot ladies over there wanted to know what song you were drumming on the bar. they said it seemed very fast and impressive."

"Why should you not visit the Ukraine with your fly unzipped? Because if you don't, Chernobyl fall out!"

"What is Illinois known for? The three C's. Chicago, Corn, and Corruption."

"[A-ha rehearsal] ""Here's the lyric: Take On Me."" ""What about Take Me On?"" [4 hrs of arguing later] ""Ok we'll say both. Now let's get perms."""

"What's the most 'Spoken' language on Earth? Hint: It's not English Spanish."

"A sheep, a drum, and a snake all fall off a cliff... Ba-dumm-tss"