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Joke of the Day

"'Why are you crying Ted ?' asked his mum. 'Because my new sneakers hurt.' 'That's because you have put them on the wrong feet.' 'But they are the only feet I have.'"

"An alligator can grow up to 17 feet. But most only have four."

"Two penguins are in the shower The first penguin turns to the other and says, ""Hey, pass the soap, please."" The second one replies, ""What do I look like? A typewriter?"""

"Whoever invented the forklift over estimated the weight of forks"

"My grandpa has a heart of a lion... ... and a lifetime ban from the zoo."

"My dad was born with a conjoined twin He was the uncle on my dad's side. But don't worry, the doctors were able to separate them. Now he's my uncle once removed."

"What do you call a bear with no teeth? A Gummy bear."

"What's the worst thing about being a professional alligator wrestler? You have to start off by being an amateur alligator wrestler."

"See the problem with the left is that... the wrong people are getting the abortions."

"I've seen: UFOs Ghosts A Two Headed Turtle Kimodo Dragons But nothing is as unbelievable to me as seeing Trump run for president."