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Joke of the Day

"Every morning, I get out of bed and run around the block 5 times. Then I slide the block back under the bed and go back to sleep."

"What is Putin's favorite Justin Timberlake song? Crimea River..."

"My brother's one of the biggest stickup men in town. Gosh is he really? Yes he's a six-foot-six billposter."

"So a cop pulled me over one day for speeding... he asked: ""excuse me sir, but do you know how long i've been waiting for you?"" i said:"" i know, i'm sorry but i tried to get here as fast as i could."""

"Khal Drogo Weighs in on Episode Leaks by Filmkritter on DeviantArt #OC"

"Irish wedding vs. Irish funeral (Possibly offensive? Naah...) What's the difference between an Irish wedding and an Irish funeral? One less drunk."

"I'm busy hiding all of the tissues in my house... So when Santa comes tonight he will have to use his beard"

"a man goes to the doctor for an operation to get part of his colon removed. he turns to his doctor and says, so dose this make me a semi colon?"

"[man] Excuse me, would you like to dance? [women] NO! [man] Maybe u didn't hear me.... I said u look really fat in those pants!"

"What's white and sticky? What's white and sticky and hangs from the clouds? . The second coming of the Lord"