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Joke of the Day

"Annoucement: At my funeral, all my tweets shall be recited. I will then haunt whomever leaves first, demanding honest feedback for eternity."

"A little boy told his mom that he wants to be like Donald trump when he grows up Mom: Well pick one, you cant be both"

"What's Gordon Ramsey's favorite film? IT'S FUCKING FROZEN!!"

"Occam's Disposable Razor When given multiple equally valid choices, choose the one that costs the least money."

"My RA just came to my room looking for fire hazards . He said everything was fine . I guess he didn't see my mixtape ."

"There's a book called ""Why Women have sex"" by Cindy Meston. The author also wrote""Why Men have sex"" but I'm guessing thats just a pamphlet."

"Ok What kind of hole do you need to turn a 15 mm hole into a 40 mm hole? A paedophile."

"What's the difference between you and a naked ringneck? One's a plucked pheasant, and I don't remember how it ends, but your mother's a whore."

"You lost your phone and it is on silent? Too bad. If you liked it you should have put a ring on it."

"Women and farting... Why do women hardly ever fart... Because they don't shut their mouth long enough to build up any pressure."