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Joke of the Day
"Fact: Roughly 40% of my childhood was spent preparing for the day I fall into a pit of quicksand."
Next Joke
"Mickey Mouse is in court ... the judge looks and Mickey and says ""Why are you divorcing Minnie? is she crazy?"" Mickey looks at the judge and says ""No. She is fucking Goofy"""
"Mexicans and blacks are pretty much the same... once you've heard juan, you've heard jammal"
"Whats the difference between Tiger Woods and Princess Diana? Tiger Woods had a better driver."
"First cannibal: Come and have dinner in our but tonight. Second cannibal: What are you having? First cannibal: Hard-boiled legs."
"Q: Why is a violinist like a Scud missile? A: Both are offensive and inaccurate."
"Jimmy: Khaleesi, of course means Queen. What's your real name again? Khaleesi (Kristen Wiig): Karen"
"Sluggish (n): What slugs speak."
"Women always check me out. The cashiers at the grocery store are so nice."
"Hey there's this new diet that can help lose pounds fast! Its called the Brexit"