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Joke of the Day

"Hey there's this new diet that can help lose pounds fast! Its called the Brexit"

"*reheats leftovers from yesterday's dinner date* *takes bite* *waiter from last night knocks on window* ""how's everything tasting folks"""

"You never realize how much you love sleeping until you have to wake up in the morning."

"What is the Sun's favorite type of music? Sol."

"To determine how safe a neighborhood is, divide the number of white women carrying yoga mats by the number of signs saying 'Checks Cashed'"

"Parents, forget about teaching your kids about the birds and the bees. Teach your kids the difference between their, they're and there."

"African conservationists call for the ban on hunting hippopotamus to be lifted, citing environmental concerns. To me the whole thing seems so hippocritical."

"Today a man knocked on my door and asked me to make a small donation to the local swimming pool So I gave him a glass of water"

"When your kids are little you're a super hero.When they're teens you're a super villain. After that, your only power is invisibility."

"There has to be a line where 9/11 jokes aren't funny anymore... For me it's somewhere around the 70th floor. I'm sorry, I know that was terrible. I'll see myself out."