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Joke of the Day
"Why did the oil covered seagull get sued? There can only be one goo gull"
Next Joke
"6yo: I can't wait to be an adult! Me: Adults don't get snow days. 6yo *faints*"
"I got a text today It read: You have won 500 or the chance to see an Elvis impersonator show!!! Reply 1 for the money, 2 for the show."
"Why does Superman have to wait until tomorrow to fight gang violence in LA? He can't face the Crips tonight."
"What's the difference between kinky and perverted? Kinky is using a feather. Perverted is using the whole chicken."
"Me: Can I buy that chandelier? Store guy: Of course. Are you putting it up yourself? Me: No, I'm hanging it from the ceiling."
"I asked a fetus if it wanted some food, and it replied: 'no thanks... ... I gestate.'"
"I got caught taking a piss in the swimming pool earlier... The lifeguard shouted so loudly that I nearly fell in!"
"What did one casket say to the other casket? ""Is that you coffin?'"
"When you see a girl who was hot in high school, but a decade later she's not https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6-RfZDiayDI"