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Joke of the Day

"I went to a homeless themed fancy dress last night. It was shit.Fcuk all food or drink and we stood outside in the rain all night."

"What did the spaceman see in his frying pan? An unidentified frying object."

"Took my guitar to an open mic night at a bar. Yea, it sucked cuz they made me play one less chord. Guess one of 'em was a minor."

"Studies show that spying on people is good for humanity. Power to the peep-hole!"

"My friends laughed at me when I said ""No homo."" Now I have to find some other way to scold my boyfriend."

"Everyone says they hate MP3 files... But I don't understand why it gets so much flak."

"turkey went out of the frying pan and into the fire only for Putin to put them in the oven"

"I like my coffee like I like my women. Hot, black, bitter, and pregnant."

"Just recorded my boss yelling at someone on the phone. Guess who has a new ringtone."

"""Gunman"" is too cool-sounding. Can we start calling them something that conveys weakness, like ""pistoleer?"""