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Joke of the Day

"Guys.... Women aren't hard..... And if they are... They aren't Women."

"Women are like public toilets... They're all dirty except for the disabled ones."

"The Molotov cocktail is of course named after Vitaly Molotov, an 18th century Russian industrialist who exploded after being thrown at a car"

"Help! I was in Chipotle and a Vampire Weekend song came on and now I'm a Toms shoe!"

"A bear and a bunny... Are shitting in the woods. The bear asks the bunny: ""Do you find that shit sticks to your fur?"" The bunny says, ""No, why?"" So the bear picks up the bunny and wipes his ass."

"Dad asks his kids what the third planet from the sun is called? Kids: - Earth! Dad: - Yeah, but it has another name. Kids: - Oh, dad. We don't know! Tell us! Dad: - Exactly! [drops mic]"

"Why did the dolphin commit suicide? Because its life had no porpoise!"

"Getting shit done. Was my response when my boss ask me what I'm doing. And now I'm sitting outside of H.R."

"What did the double hand amputee get for Christmas? I don't know, he hasn't managed to open it yet."

"My dog used to chase people on a bike It got so bad I had to take away his bike.."