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Joke of the Day

"Researcher: By 2030, life expectancy is predicted to increase globally by 6 years. Southerner: [pouring mac and cheese into deep fryer] No."

"So I found a Chinese pet carer... He said he would wok my dog for me"

"I recently joined a group for ambidextrous people. It didn't feel right, so I left."

"Did you hear about the Native American who drank 1000 glasses of tea? He drown in his tea pee."

"What did the elephant say to the naked man? How do you breathe out of that little thing?"

"Why is CoD: Infinite Warfare set in space? because it couldn't survive in the Battlefield."

"What do you call a blind Australian Crocodile? Q: What do you call a blind Australian Crocodile? A: Crocodile Dunsee"

"Randomly print things to give your co-workers the impression you're working."

"My girlfriend caught me masturbating to porn on my phone... She looked at me seductively and asked if she could help. I said sure, could you hold my phone?"

"What do you call a TV award an Italian mobster cheated to win? Rigatoni"