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Joke of the Day
"So I found a Chinese pet carer... He said he would wok my dog for me"
Next Joke
"Lebron's life is like one big compass... He went South, His hairline went North, his dad went East and his mom went Delonte West."
"I want to die in my sleep like my grandfather... ...not yelling and screaming like the passengers in his car"
"What do you say when you're comforting a grammar Nazi? There, their, they're."
"If your partner/spouse tells you they're not reading everything you tweet: A) they're lying B) hi honey!"
"To keep guacamole from going bad just be there for it"
"Giant methane storm on Uranus. It just a really bad fart."
"""I say, this bloody coffee tastes like mud!...."" "" It should sir, it was ground this morning."""
"Why was the intelligent Heineken upset? 'Cus the bud's wiser."
"Damn Donald.... Back at it again with the white fans"