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Joke of the Day
"Have you heard of the hard-working blind prostitute? You really gotta hand it to her."
Next Joke
"I finally got around to getting a vasectomy the other day... but there hasn't been a vas deferens in my sex life since then."
"A Las Vegas joke Criss Angel"
"Next time a conspiracy theorist says, ""That's what they want you to think,"" say, ""No, but that's what they wanted you to tell me."""
"I just overheard my kid muttering ""I'm sorry you had to see that"" to a stuffed toy. It's probably best not to ask what ""that"" was right?"
"PRANK: ask someone what's on their shirt and when they look down give them a perm"
"Next time someone catches you talking to yourself, make it worthwhile by laughing, yelling ""Good one!"" and high-fiving the air."
"If I got $1 every time somebody called me sexist I would walk free of a rape case"
"How can you tell the difference between a crocodile and an alligator? One you'll see in a while, the other you'll see later. Credit to Mitch hedburg"
"""Act your age!"" I yell at my 11 year-old daughter as I put on my Captain America t-shirt."