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Joke of the Day

"I finally got around to getting a vasectomy the other day... but there hasn't been a vas deferens in my sex life since then."

"What do fat chicks do in the summer time? Stink."

"An Apple computer walks into a bar. The bartender says, ""What'll it be, Mac?"""

"What does an LGBT rabbi call a blessing? a brucea"

"How did Helen Keller's parents punish her? Put a plunger in the toilet"

"If my name was Rudolph Spermguzzler I would introduce myself like this: Hi, I'm Rudolph Spermguzzler, sorry if it's a bit of a mouthful."

"The guys who measure out the granite so it fits nicely in your kitchen were prob mad when they found out the term counterfeiters was taken"

"Has 2 wings but doesn't fly, Has 2 eyes but doesn't see, has 2 legs doesn't walk, what is it ? A Dead bird"

"[Safari] ""Remember, when you're near water beware of wild hippos."" Don't worry, I'm prepared for that. *shows handful of white marbles*"

"Set your phone alarm to a song you hate. You won't hit snooze, because then you'd have to hear Nickelback again."