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Joke of the Day

"Thanks History Channel for letting me know that this scene showing General Custer at the Battle of Little Bighorn is a dramatization."

"You know what the last thing my grandfather said before he kicked the bucket ""How far you think I can kick this bucket"""

"Did you hear about the 80 year old man who ran naked through the flower show? ...he won first place for a dried arrangement!"

"Instead of being buried or cremated, I've arranged to be liquidized. I'm not going to a funeral if I can't get drunk."

"How do you know Axe was invented by black people? If it was white people who invented it, it would be called Ask."

"Yahoo answers is my primary care physician"

"A man tells his doctor, ""Doc, help me. I'm addicted to Twitter! The doctor replies, ""Sorry, I don't follow you..."

"Don't act like you've never used a pair of binoculars to try to peer through another pair of binoculars."

"When lesbians get married, which one makes the sandwiches? Neither! Everyone knows they prefer hot pockets"

"Did you know you can use voice-to-text on Twitter so this tweet came from my mouth and also stop staring at me people on this bus."