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Joke of the Day

"When lesbians get married, which one makes the sandwiches? Neither! Everyone knows they prefer hot pockets"

"they say each cigarette you smoke takes 7-11 minutes off your life, last year i smoked 11,000 i dont look a day younger"

"Why can't gay students ever have a 4.0 GPA? Because they're not straight A students."

"What do a man and a rubix cube have in common? The longer you play with them, the harder they get."

"THEM: Let's head down to Paradise City. I heard the girls are really hot there. ME: What's the grass situation?"

"Wanna see a joke? Look at your dick"

"According to the New England Journal of Medicine, the blood alcohol level is to be measured in Lohans now"

"Little league Played baseball with some orphaned kids today. :) I won. None of them seemed to know where home was."

"A hipster has just died Welcome to heaven, says god. The hipster turns back : no way, I'm going to hell before it's cool"

"Well well well, if it isn't the guy who hired me looking over my shoulder, watching me stare at my phone... Brb."