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Joke of the Day

"Honestly Officer, the pharmacy ran out of those orange pill bottles so they just gave it to me in this plastic baggie."

"A baguette up the butt is a real pain in the ass."

"What is your mom's favorite animal? Macaque."

"Why did the newspaper cross the street? To get to the other side of the story."

"I heard 80% of all accident happen within 10 miles of home. So I moved."

"What's a joke? My life..."

"What's the best part about having sex with ninety-nine year olds? There's ninety of 'em."

"Did you know Helen Keller had an amusement park in her backyard? Neither did she."

"Ladies, if he tells you he's 6 feet & 4 inches, be sure those aren't two separate measurements."

"I couldn't figure out why my car exhaust was so quiet... It left me baffled!"