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Joke of the Day

"I'm at my quickest when I try to follow someone out of the bathroom so I don't have to touch the handle."

"Did you hear about the magic tractor? It went down a lane and turned into a field..."

"What did Hermoine say when she found out she's pregnant? Fetus Abortus!"

"Had pumpkin flavored coffee this morning and immediately signed up for a Zumba class and kidnapped 2 kids and drove them to a soccer field"

"Heard this at Disney... What do you get when you mix an elephant and a rhino? What? An elephino! (What's better is that they tell this surrounded by kids, and the parent's all just chuckle)"

"Ellen Pao on the new $10 bill! worth 2 cents"

"Yo mama so fat... that when she has threesomes the dudes never meet."

"What's the difference between a terrorist and a Jewish mother? You can make an agreement with a terrorist!"

"Do you want to hear the funniest joke in the world? Me too."

"A black guy and a mexican are in a car, who's driving? The police"