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Joke of the Day

"ME: *sighs* yep, story of my life EDITOR: please stop saying that every time you hand me a draft of your autobiography"

"How did Canada get its name? They had a bag of letters, and one person announced as he picked each letter out "" 'C', eh, 'N', eh, 'D', eh""."

"Chuck Norris can jump-start a car using jumper cables attached to his nipples."

"<-----Will never confess the actual number of house cats he's forced outdoors when the owner wasn't looking"

"What kind of Pop do you cook with? Baking Soda"

"A pianist is currently on trial. He was accused of fingering A Minor."

"hate how my phone sometimes autocorrects haha to hahahahaha. im trying to end a conversation not laugh harder than i ever have in my life."

"9 out of 10 Chinese Doctor Have Cataracts... the 10th drives a Rincoln"

"Why do Russians love Pho so much? Because they're so...viet."

"Happy 2011! I can't wait for Internet Explorer 9."