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Joke of the Day

"If you need to rush somewhere, carry a fire extinguisher. Nobody will stop a person running with a fire extinguisher."

"What book does a gay horse read? 50 Shades of HaaAAaaayyy."

"Don't make fun of a fat person with a lisp... ...they're probably thick and tired of it."

"What do you call it when one bull spies on another bull? A steak-out!"

"If you accidentally use Pam cooking spray instead of Off... It still works, because the mosquitoes just slide off your legs."

"Knock Knock Who's there ! Bully ! Bully who ? Bully Jean is not my lover !"

"What did one mosquito say to another when they came out of the cinema? Fancy a bite?"

"My cat just started kneading my back in bed and I said ""not now"" so wish us luck we're officially married."

"I test my smoke alarm batteries by burning the fuck out of everything I cook."

"What do the post office and the San Francisco 49ers have in common? They don't deliver on Sunday"