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Joke of the Day
"What does a pig put on it's nose for a sunburn? Oinkment!"
Next Joke
"What do a pussy and KFC have in common? They're both finger licking good, and when your done you have a box to put the bone in"
"Friend: you should come over tonight. we're watching 'How to Train Your Dragon 2' Me: Friend: Me: to what? Friend:"
"A Moment of Silence Let's all spare a few moments of silence for the man who told his wife he was going to China on that Malaysian flight no MH. 370 and now can't come out of his girlfriend's flat."
"Does almond milk come from crazy cows? Cause they gotta be nuts, right?"
"Just cracked Forest Gump's password. 1forest1"
"me: just tell me I don't die in an Arby's bathroom stall Death: [sadly looking up from his book] look, what matters is how you lived"
"There's a new movie coming out about people who take a long time to orgasm... It hasn't released yet."
"Waiter: How did you find your steak sir? Customer: Oh I just moved the potatoes and there it was!"
"What's the only thing politicians stand for? Reelection."