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Joke of the Day

"How Many Hillary Supporters Does It Take To Screw In A Lightbulb? Why NONE of course, they prefer to remain in the dark!"

"What do you call a snail on a ship? A snailor!!"

"What is the fastest way to lose pounds? Leave EU."

"My buddy said that he was planning on making homemade bread. I told him to let me know if he kneeds anything."

"I'd call you a cunt but you lack the warmth and depth"

"What do you call a rhinoceros crossed with an elephant? ""el' if I know."""

"SiriusXM is broadcasting NASCAR because there's nothing more exciting than listening to people drive."

"So I was in Jerusalem and a man was trying to sell me a gold watch... I kept telling him I don't want it. It looks too fake, not real gold. He looked at me and says ""It's not fake, Israel."""

"NSFW Where do you go when you get semen in your eye? Pearle Vision. [Totally a Canadian Joke, my bad for not thinking about that! Pearle Vision is a local Optometry franchise.]"

"Oregon Trail 2016: Jayden has a gluten allergy. You can't even ford the river rn. Purchase one woke of oxen? Madison is literally dead"