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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between Michael Jackson and pimples? Pimples will wait till you're 14 to come on you're face."

"Joke. What do you call a man without arms or legs who gets into a fight with his cat? ......Claude!"

"Why did spider-man cross the road? To get to the *web*site !! *ba-dum-tsss*"

"What's the Russian word for water? Vodka"

"Policeman: Didn't you see that stop sign? Driver: I keep my eyes closed in traffic."

"What's the difference between Jesus and an oil painting? You only need one nail to hold up a picture."

"I told my girlfriend I would get a picture of her on my new debit card... So that even if we break-up, she'll still be taking my money."

"Mules are held donkey and half horse. So does this mean that they do everything half-assed?"

"What do you do to a blind, deaf, dumb girl after raping her? You break her fingers so she can't tell anyone."

"I almost got killed because my Superman cloak wasn't the correct size. It was a narrow ""S"" cape."