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Joke of the Day

"I took a shit on the hood of a car one time It was my civic doodie"

"I'm sick and I'm going to work today; so if there's some kind of Contagion-level outbreak, I'm your patient-zero."

"what did they call the Mexican after losing a finger minus juan"

"Flight Attendant: Would you like some headphones? Man: Yes, and how did you know my name was Phones?"

"I deleted all the German contacts out of my phone... now its Hans free"

"Have you heard about the dyslexic satanist? Sold his soul to Santa."

"Tonight is bad for me. Could everyone arrange to Wang Chung maybe some time early tomorrow afternoon?"

"Albert Einstein was a genius... But his brother Frank was a monster."

"Bert asked Ernie if he wants ice cream ""Sure, Bert"""

"What did Ahab say when Moby Dick raised his tail? Whale shit!"