115665

Joke of the Day

"Flight Attendant: Would you like some headphones? Man: Yes, and how did you know my name was Phones?"

"When life hands you women, make women laid."

"What does a lion at the beach have in common with Christmas? (as told by my first grade daughter) They both have Sandy Claws. BOOM!"

"What do you call a person who knows 3 languages? Trilingual. What do you call a person who knows 2 languages? Bilingual. What do you call a person who knows only one language? American."

"my yoga teacher asked me how flexible I was I told her I couldn't do Monday's."

"Chuck Norris joke cause it's been a long time. Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table because he only recognizes the element of surprise."

"[HOSPITAL] DOCTOR: ""A-tisket a-tasket, you're gonna need a casket."" WIFE: ""What?"" DR: ""Your husband's knee surgery did not go well AT ALL."""

"This girl just spilt ice all over my record player. I played it cool."

"Lesbians build huge mansion in atlanta... It was all tounge and groove, not a single stud in the house. (Construction workers joke, you might not get it)"

"Did you hear about the 'Flock of Seagulls' fan who shot himself? [OC] Apparently the gun had a hair trigger."