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Joke of the Day

"Back on the Canadian side of the border now. Thank God. That is the longest period of time I've ever gone without riding a moose."

"What do you call a police officer that stays in bed all day underneath the blankets? An undercover cop!"

"""I have a particular set of spills,"" Liam Neeson says, eyeing his soiled shirt. He looks for a napkin but the last one's already been Taken."

"I finally got tinder And after a few matches, I was able to start a campfire."

"I don't worry about Friday the 13th. It's bad luck to be superstitious."

"At home: I want to go out, I want friends. When I go out: I want to go home, I hate people."

"Did anyone hear about the fat priest? He never exorcised."

"A man walks into a confessional and farts... Upon hearing the priest start to gag he says, ""Forgive me Father, for I have wind."""

"That guy is so poor... ... that he has to fuck his own wife."

"What do you call a lesbian dinosaur? A lickalotopuss"