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Joke of the Day

"A man walks into a confessional and farts... Upon hearing the priest start to gag he says, ""Forgive me Father, for I have wind."""

"You won't be hearing from me for a while. I'm being investigated for stealing swimming pool inflatables.... I gotta lilo."

"My wife does a HILARIOUS John Goodman impression. Doesn't hurt that she looks exactly like him."

"Whenever my girlfriend doesn't eat her dinner, I remind her that there are starving kids in Africa, and that she'll never be that skinny."

"Sooo when my husband became a pool man I really thought the sex would get immediately better"

"How many sith lords does it take to change a light bulb? None. They like it on the dark side."

"MEN AIN'T FROM MARS AND WOMEN AIN'T FROM VENUS. BOTH YALL FROM EARTH AND BOTH OF YALL WACK"

"Q: What did the blonde do when she got her period? A: Looked around for the bastard that must have shot her?"

"How Did I Make It To The Middle East? Iran there."

"What does laundry day and the 1950's have in common Color separation"